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As I was driving through town this morning I noticed all the beer cans and pizza boxes on the street from last nights college party's. Then, it occurred to me - why not throw all those empty Hieni cans out that have been rolling around on my van floor all week? After all it would be better to do that and not take the risk of having the local or university cops stop me for a tail light out and then get tazered and shot when they found the empty cans! Oh, I forgot, I'm an old white guy, cops don't do that to us, we do that to those people lower on the social scale than we are plus, if I did throw them out the window they would land on someone's lawn or driveway and, after all, the town does pick up trash every week from everyone's driveway so what's the difference - a few cans in the trash can or a few on the lawn? They all end up at the dump eventually.
Now, I think I'll just start cruising around town all day long, wasting gas, checking out the young coeds - just don't tell my wife - I said I was doing an environmental survey.